nicole, snowflakes
Me and my daughter

My daughter is every bit of curiously strange and quirky as I had hoped she would be. She often wears a plastic toy army helmet, toy stethoscope, and novelty band t-shirts like a boss who decidedly deserves the moniker Corporal Cutie.

The Corporal is fun, weird, loving, compassionate, and at times so enamored by her father and I, that it confuses me to think one person can love us as much as she does and doesn’t really know just how annoying we are. She loves unconditionally. Sure, we have role modeled for her certain behaviors, but the kindness and empathy she exhibits sometimes leaves me wondering; where exactly did she learn this.

This was supposed to be the year of potty training, learning new skills, and our first female President. We managed 2 out of 3. However, with no help from a long campaign summer and even longer election season, it has now become the year of “what in the hell just happened?”

My daughter will grow up someday and she will want answers, she will question authority, want to know why people are mean, or ask how did these things happen in a free and civilized world. She will undoubtedly want to know why people are treated unfairly or why the world is a scary place. What answers could I give her? What answers do I possibly have now?

My husband and I must say “no way!” a lot because my daughter has picked this up and answers almost every question with that statement. It wasn’t our intent to pass down our very slackerish/retro hippie vernacular, but we did. Which got me to thinking, in a new mom kind of way, these little beings really are blank slates that learn and acquire knowledge like a sponge.

These “kid sponges” are newly born into this world quicker to learn, and quicker to adjust better than most people my age. They are not born to hate or discriminate; in fact, they are ready to love unconditionally and to learn new ways of thinking and problem solving. They love. They are not jaded cynics. They are inherently kind.

When I think of answers I will eventually have to give my child about hard lessons, terrifying events or tragedies the world over, I become lost. Lost because any answer I give will not justify injustices, add value to someone who has been devalued, the answers will never make right why someone intentionally hurt another, or why another’s beliefs are better than our own. My answers will never lend credence as to why blind hate, bigotry, or callousness exists.

The only thing I know how to do is to instill in my daughter the thought that people matter, that feelings should be heard, that being kind matters, and that listening (really listening) to others during healthy intelligent dialogue can solve problems. This doesn’t make me a “snowflake” raising a “snowflake,” spewing forth some hippie bullshit diatribe, this is a common sense MOM practice.

This won’t solve the world’s problems now, unless people buy into it. And unfortunately, many people are angry for many different reasons. There is a lot of hate in this world, that lessons of love and acceptance are often pushed to the side by rage, alternate facts, and deceit. However, the mom’s that I know are fierce fighters of the good fight, not snowflakes.

We don’t stop until every toy is picked up, we implore our children to use manners, we are educated on every inorganic by-product that is in a fruit snack that will find its way quicker to the floor than a kids mouth; but, we know. WE know what’s good for our children, we know what kind of world we want them to live in and inherit, we know we value love and security within our homes.

I implore every mom out there to continue laying the groundwork for our children to be citizens of the world. That kindness matters, that love matters, and that having/sharing feelings isn’t something to be ashamed of.

5 COMMENTS

  1. “What did you do to Stop Trump’s Election Mommy??” >>>
    “This was supposed to be the year of potty training, learning new skills, and our first female President. We managed 2 out of 3.” …

    Be sure to tell your daughter how your Hypocrisy and Blindness in Supporting Clinton over Sanders contributed to the Election of Trump!!!

    • I actually supported Sanders, and voted for him in our state primary. However, when Clinton was nominated as the democratic candidate- I supported my party.

      • The Sanders movement was about Policy and Revolutionary Change… Blindly supporting “your Party’ is what fortifies the Corrupt “2-Party system” and reinforces their lack of motivation to institute any Change at all…. Which is why so many Bernie supporters Voted Trump out of frustration.

        To them, better a vote Against corrupt complacency than the Hypocrisy of supporting it, no matter how reluctantly…. That is Why I choose what Bernie should have chosen… I jumped to the GREEN Party… and If Bernie had had the guts to do the same, (a truly Revolutionary Act), we would have a President Sanders today… and Not a President Trump!!!

        You do NOT build change by supporting the Status Quo… and Every Vote for a 3rd Party is one vote closer to making them a Legitimate actor in a Future Election… an election Your daughter will be voting in… You would have been giving HER a Viable alternative… You haven’t helped her at all by Supporting Clinton and the Democratic Party’s Rot and Corruption, rather than waiting for a “first female President” that actually deserved to hold that office!!

        • You clearly missed the entire point of this article. While I appreciate intelligent debate, you don’t live in my home, you don’t provide for my family- so; therefore you don’t get to tell me “I haven’t helped her.” You really believe your vote for a weak and unqualified 3rd party candidate made you an American patriot- did it do anything? Some would say you actually helped Trump get elected. Additionally, “every vote for a third party” candidate, considering the ridiculous choice of Stein, or the Green Party, building change or legitimizing future 3rd party candidates?! That is asinine- you threw your vote away. Those candidates didn’t legitimize future 3rd party candidates, it made them a laughing stock. I would love to see substantiated facts/ numbers where “many Bernie” supporters voted Trump out of frustration, bc I don’t buy that at all.

  2. The “snow flake” tag is in a word, unforgiveable. It is the polite successor to a long line of terms that I heard my African American parents use to refer to well, those other people, in my childhood. Lables as shorthand don’t further the conversation or resolve problems. Next.

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